Lucy Anne

i cant count how many times i've thought it was yesterday i spoke to you. i cant count how many times i've picked up the phone to text you or call you. i cant count the number of times i've woke up searching for you, crying because reality hits me in the face like a brick. i keep waiting for you to post your daily picture of how you look. i keep waiting for snapchat to light up with a good morning momma. you're gone. really gone. and i miss you more than anything. people say you have other kids and grandkids, you have to be strong and i try around them. but more times then not, i leave them and cry because i want to tell you how things went, family dinners, parties, new news. i simply cry. and i visit you as often as i can. yes i have some of your ashes at home. yes i have them in a couple of necklaces. but its not the same. i cant hug you, or smell you, or teas you about your hair. Goddess you would be furious with me knowing i have a lock of your hair.i can hear you chastizing me. "MOM thats MY HAIR!!" 


i miss you. that is all. i miss you.

A year and 5 months. I can barely breathe. I miss you. They say I shouldn't  be  so distraught. I should  think of the kids and grandkids. It's like looking at your body parts and trying to decide which one you can do without. They are all important. Just because one is missing doesn't mean I care less about the others.  There's a hole in our family. That goofy girl that lit up a room when she walked in. Babygirl, aunt Lucy, sissy. We all miss you.